This paper presents the results of two corpus studies investigating the discourse surrounding conspiracy theories and genuine theories. The results of these studies suggest that conspiracy theories lack the epistemic and scientific standing characteristic of theories more generally. Instead, our findings indicate that conspiracy theories are spread in a manner that resembles the dissemination of rumors and falsehoods. Based on these empirical results, we argue that it is time for both re-engineering conspiracy theory and for relabeling ‘conspiracy theory’. We propose relabelling conspiracy theories as either ‘conspiracy stories’ or ‘conspiracy narratives’ to more accurately convey their true nature.