In this essay, I look to explore the connections between Roland Baines and myself and thus to reflect on my own life as, like Roland, an aging white Englishman. My exploration takes on an especial intensity as I consider the death of Roland’s second wife, Daphne, and his relationship with his granddaughter in light of my own wife’s death and a similar relationship with a grandchild. I consider whether anything can “help us age” when it comes to the death of a loved one—this, given my own (and McEwan’s/Roland’s) entirely secular outlook. I also briefly consider the nature of realism and of personal agency, the ability to respond meaningfully to the larger world, something Roland—and, I suggest, myself too—have difficulty in doing.