<p>I offer two novel theories of our nature: volitional phase animalism, which holds that we are essentially organisms with volitions; and narrative phase animalism, which holds that we are essentially organisms that produce self-narratives. Both theories agree with the standard versions of animalism’s claim that we are essentially living organisms but deny that we are essentially human. I examine the implications of these theories for the categorisation of artificial intelligence: I discuss whether certain AI systems might eventually qualify as some of us if they function as organisms with the relevant volitional or narrative capacities.</p>